EXCLUSIVE!!

Bev Jones The Tameside Beast In Jelly Belly Jiggerypokery Three Way Tug Of Love Scandal
'From the people who want honesty and a return to family values'

All is not well in a terraced house in Ashton. The home of Bev and Dave Jones who have broken away from the British National Party in order (according to them) to modernise the BNP and take it back from the present leadership of Nick Griffin. In return the Jones's along with Sadie Graham, Pratt Dingle and a small handfull of 'rebels' like Kenny 'The Gimp' Smith insist that with their leadership they will enforce honesty, truthfulness and family values within the party and ensure it stays there. Nothing wrong with that the less weary of you may think but heres why those who do know better point and laugh at these people.

From his terraced house in Ashton, Greater Manchester Dave Jones has a long and tiresome job of getting up in a morning. Disabled Dave who relies on his wife for even the most mundane task around the home must now feed all the cats alone as Bev is nowhere to be seen. While confiding in anyone who would listen Dave Jones, obviously distressed and the situation he has now found himself in is quite open about whats happened.

"She's left me" Dave sighs. "Shes not with me anymore". It turns out that Bev Jones really isn't with Dave anymore. Despite her large bulk we suppose a woman still has needs no matter how many pies she can consume during the Coronation Street ad break and according to Dave after a few years of progressivly failing to satisfy her in the bedroom department due to his illness she has gone elsewhere. And where did she go Dave? "...shes at Richard Chadfields". It seems that bouncy bonking Bev wanted 'dick' in more ways than one and after giving Dave an ultimatum and incidently due to illness an ultimatum he would never be able to honour she packed her bags and is now living with Chadfield, leaving a very distraught Dave to fend for himself.

As the home they shared now falls into decay the smell of cat shit and piss overwhelms the house as Dave finds it difficult to get around, and combine that with the knowledge that his missus has left him for another bloke because he can't get it up anymore it makes for pitiful reading doesn't it, particularly as they are just two of the people who claim to stand for honesty, truth and family values. Dave revealed that Bev said "I want sex that you can't provide". To be fair to Bev atleast she was 'honest' in this instance but she has also been less than truthful and definately has no concept of family values. But in the case of Richard Chadfield we have no option but to applaud him on his conquest. If he can tame the Tameside Beast then we take our hats off to him and provide a polite round of applause.

So what of poor old Dave Jones now? Well Dave just seems to be wasting away but he spends his time going online and posting on the STORMFRONT FORUM as ASHTONSCOUT so atleast he has some cyber-friends and he can take on a whole new persona and vent his frustrations on there.
And these people want to take over the BNP? Cuckoo-cuckoo!!